This is the year we finally said goodbye to wireless earbuds. We have been trying to make things work for far too long, but it's time to face the music. Earphones and I are incompatible.

I'm not going to diagnose it as a phobia, even a phobia related to putting little things in my ears, but something about cramming buds so close to my brain just doesn't feel right anymore. And I don't know if it ever did.

As my bank account attests, I have tried to no avail to find the best wireless earbuds for me: the Jaybird X3, Powerbeats 2, Powerbeats Pro, first generation AirPods, and most recently the AirPods Pro are some of the models I have cheated on. Despite the variety, the same old story repeated itself with each purchase.

At first I was lured by the design, like a moth drawn to a flame. I especially liked the look of the Powerbeats Pro and thought they looked stylish on my ears; I don't know what I was thinking with the AirPods, which I thought looked like a pair of headphones, but I was wrong. They were trendy for a moment, but they still look ugly. In any case, I will soon realize that my new wireless earbuds are just a pretty face.

Such encounters went one of two routes: either I'd wear them for a few hours or more and experience devastating discomfort, or they'd fall out of my ears before reaching that threshold. For the truly wireless model, we parted ways in more chaotic conditions. Washing machines, street drains, and crowded LIRR cars are just a few of the places where my past earbuds have met their demise.

In addition to being easy to lose or misplace, most wireless earbuds failed to impress me in terms of audio performance. I had to cheat with a can or toss them in my desk drawer or backpack glove compartment. I've recently been using the excellent Sony WH-1000XM4 and the gorgeous AirPods Max, and it's almost unfair to compare them to any in-ear type.

Over-ear headphones are not only comfortable and hard to fall out of, but they also block out ambient sound and create an all-encompassing listening experience.

AirPods Pro come closest to real headphones, but have poor call quality and don't hold a charge.

I would not have been so entangled in my ephemeral earphone situation if almost every consumer tech company had not released at least one or three earbuds in the past 12 months that I would have liked to try. And that's before considering the best fake AirPods, or AirPods look-alikes. I do my best to keep an open mind about the product, but for God's sake, please, in 2021, fewer wireless earbuds.

I admit that when it comes to working out, wireless earbuds beat ear-covering headphones. But why do we need so many options?

Yes, I know it's silly to hope that wireless earbuds will disappear off the face of the earth in Endgame style. Some people may find wireless earbuds practical, but I do not. My wallet and I have been seduced and belittled as if wireless earbuds are the bad boyfriends I keep coming back to.

If you want to block out wireless earbuds with me, check out my guide to the best headphones. There are plenty of unobtrusive, over-the-ear options out there that are well worth the time and money.